OUR BEACON POINT, ABY ACHEN
A Eulogy
It's been 4 years now...
By dying young a person stays young
in people’s memory. If he burns brightly before he dies, his brightness shines
for all the time.
Let
me introduce to you one such individual who was a candle, a lantern, a sunbeam,
but flickered out too soon. A friend, a brother, a guard, a guide, a knight in
shining armour- to every single person he came into contact with. Our dear
classmate-Rev. Aby Thampi Ninan (1984-2018).
2003-2006
B.A English batch of Mar Thoma College, Thiruvalla. An amalgamation of variety
characters- kids who completed schooling from different syllabi, kids from
outside Kerala, even abroad, local kids, brothers from religious congregations,
studious ones and backbenchers, meek and mild types and loud and wild types – we
were supposed to study together for three whole years – and become friends?
Impossible it seems, but with good souls who know how to lighten up a room as
soon as they enter, then you don’t need three years to create rapport and
lifelong friendships.
There
are some characters in life that make their mark the first time you meet
itself. Aby was such a guy. On the first day of college, when everyone was new,
scared and tensed – one huge man (who happened to be our classmate and later to
be National Award-winning Film Director and actor Sidhartha Siva) entered the
class and started talking in the front and everyone thought he was a teacher.
Aby was the first to get up and introduce himself. The scene certainly changed
when the actual professor came in!
Aby
had that charisma to reach out to everyone and talk to maximum people during
those break times. He could make up a funny nickname or short form for you in
no time and call you that always- Geoffrey became ‘Gepri’, Ann Mary became
‘AnnMaro’, Samson was ‘Samsu’ and Sarah was ‘Sarammo’. Those names instantly
created a magic bond with him and you were not supposed to forget him. He made
sure of that.
Even
for a moment if you thought this fellow was too proud or you had to stay away
from this dark-toned dude, within seconds he could change that impression. Aby
had the knack of capturing your attention and winning your heart – whether you
were a senior or junior, batchmate or roommate, teacher or non-teaching staff.
He dedicated his whole being into our class and noticed even a minute silence
or quarrel. If anyone was sitting quiet or was gossiping in the corner, he
would go right into them and ask: ‘Enthaannu makkalle?’ (What happened, kids?)
As
Aby’s home was quite far away, he stayed nearby in the Gulf Horizon lodge with
Jinson and Samson, three buddies from the south. Jinson felt homesick on his
first birthday away from home and Aby planned a surprise birthday party for him
at Leena Miss’ home. Only a true friend would sense that and do whatever
possible to cheer him up. In the meanwhile, Leena miss’ home, which was also
close to their lodge, turned into their safe haven whenever the South boys felt
sick or even for a celebration. It was this year itself that our two friends
Ginu and Shani met with an accident while travelling back home from college on
a bus. They both were admitted to the TMM Hospital because of their injuries.
Aby was among those who first rushed to the hospital. He saw that they couldn’t
eat anything, bought juice and forced them to drink it. A friend in need is a
friend indeed.
In those days, it was neither a
common nor a rare thing for girls to get married off when a good proposal comes,
while studying itself. Our classmate Rani got married during our second year and
I remember very well that Aby was our ‘bodyguard’ to go all the way to Niranam
and back on the wedding day. But soon after this good memory is a depressing
one. Our most popular Sidhu was diagnosed with cancer and it was more of a
first experience for all of us to be so close to someone who went through it
all- radiations, chemotherapy-it was a time we all stood together and stayed
happy for him. Aby for sure was one of those who helped him the most-giving him
the motivation, courage and support he needed.
In
our final year, Aby was selected as the Secretary of the Literary Association
of the English Department. I was on that committee too and witnessed his
leadership. He was full of energy and conducted so many programmes:
Inauguration, Inter-collegiate Quiz and Debate Competitions, Onam &
Christmas celebrations. He did his duty to perfection and enthusiasm and proved
his organisational skills that year. He was a born leader for sure.
That
same year, our department had staged some classic scenes from Shakespeare of
which Othello’s Bedchamber scene (V.ii) was one and Aby played the lead
character. You would never imagine he could be truly Othello incarnate on stage
as he strangled Desdemona! He looked the part and pulled it off so well. I’ve
seen some photos of his shared on social media, in which he does continue his
‘acting career’ during his seminary days too!
The
Best Arts of Mar Thoma College produced a short film ‘Amour Code’ in 2005,
where we got to see Siddharth’s directorial skills in person much before he
started professionally, and of which Aby was the Production Executive. He was
there behind the scenes the whole time, along with many others of our class who
were supporting our friend’s venture to become a success. That was the Aby
Thampi Ninan of our college days - versatile and supportive.
Three years passed so swiftly. Aby
was everyone’s friend, everyone’s confidant. He created that friendship with us
all. As we were parting ways, it was Aby’s idea to fix a date to meet every
year. We decided together on our Social day to meet on 27th
December. The first year, he even invited our old teachers for the gathering,
who did come even though it was during the Christmas Vacation. Our own
professor Abraham Karickam sir was Principal at the time and he opened up the
chapel and classrooms just for us. It did go on a few more years by when almost
everyone scattered more further one by one, got busy with their own jobs and
families. But thanks to Aby, we did have a few more extra moments together in
those very same classrooms and verandahs we spent those three carefree college
years.
This
precious friend is not with us anymore. Our whole batch misses him to pieces. My
friends penned a few lines in honour of our dear companion. Sharing their reminiscences
with you:
*Remembering Aby achen is always bittersweet
because knowing that such an adorable friend is no more in this world brings
nothing but sadness. But we never brood over this sadness because his name
itself brings a smile on anyone who knew him. He had this special power on
people to bring joy to their life with the simplest conversations and love. As
his friend the best thing I loved about him was that he never went by the
societal norms but was never a rebel too. He was a people’s person. He was our
person. Our Aby achen!
Anila
Cherian
*’Life is like a dream. We don’t know where it will take us
or where it will stop. But we have to go where it takes us and we have to stop
where it stops.’ This is about the man who lived his life like a dream. When I
close my eyes and think of the person named Aby, the first thing that comes to
mind is the boy I first met at Vacation Bible School. We became closer when he
joined for Plus one in my school. Besides being an outsider, his charismatic
personality helped him to be so popular and also become class leader that year.
We joined Mar Thoma College together to fulfil our dream of becoming a priest.
Our college provided him with a bigger platform to demonstrate his skills. His
role in a skit made him popular among his peers and staff. He was outstanding in
all that he did. I was totally amazed with the talents one person can have. Just
like we shared our dreams, we shared a room too, and I was also amazed at how
much appetite a person can have! During holidays, he used to come to my home so
that he can have my Amma’s (whom he used to call Suma) kappa and beef curry. It
became a family custom that Amma enjoyed a lot. Though we parted ways after
graduation we kept in contact and made sure to share whatever happened in our
life. We both became fathers at the same time – he became a priest and I have
two kids!
I felt proud every time I met people who knew him. Everyone
had the same things to describe him.; his smile, his sense of humour, his
talents, his down to earth personality and the humbleness he carried with him
everywhere he went. For the world he is Aby achen, but he will always be my
Aby.
I will never forget the last conversation we
had. A happy one, without the slightest hint of the pain and suffering he was
undergoing, he ended the call with a positive note of meeting again, but till
then I will carry the image of a chubby boy with shining eyes that held a
promise to conquer the world. Till we meet again….
Jinson
R. Muthalaly
*Aby achen- a true fighter, who had
won our hearts with his fighting spirit, that smile on his face even in pain
makes us realise that life is all about love and loving and not giving up.
Sarah
Daniel
*My brother, my friend, and my
classmate Aby achen was always our hope and excitement. But he left us all so
soon. It is such a wonder how he faced his illness with such will power and
self-confidence. I’m happy his memories are still with me. I bow my head before
this dear one who always valued love and friendship more than anything. I
dedicate a bouquet of memories with a heavy heart and tearful eyes.
Blesson Sam Issac
*Aby achen maintained a healthy
relationship with everyone. He was there to guide me when I felt confused and
sad. A dear friend who was true.
Ann
Mary Abraham
*He was such a support during college
days. It never changed after graduation. He told me that however big a Seminary
lecturer I’d become he would still call me ‘Gepri’. When I got to know about
his sickness and called him to console, in turn he started motivating me. He
was always so positive in class, and in the same way he never revealed to
anyone his worries so that we would stay happy for him. I’ve never seen such a
person. He did so much at this young age. His good deeds will certainly live
on. Hoping to meet him one day at Paradise.
Geoffrey
Isaac John
*First thing which comes to my mind
while I remember Aby achen is his pleasant smile and his wonderful performance
as Othello. He was a ball of energy in our class. A good leader, coordinator
and a trustful friend. He tried to maintain his relations with others. He is
not replaceable. May His soul rest in peace in the laps of Abraham, Isaac and
Jacob.
Riya
Mathew
*I had always looked upon Aby as a
very genial person, a high-spirited gentleman and a crowd puller. Gone too
soon.
Indu
Chandran
*We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so
that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too
might walk in newness of life. (Romans 6: 4)
Aby achen is the epitome of
Christlikeness, a soul filled with the spirit of calmness, care, love…a person
who never judged us, a trait I always admired in him. He was an individual
filled with kindness and compassion for everyone alike, good or bad, he always
had a smile for everyone. He was the one person who was always there for you
and was proactive in everything he did. I can never forget this true gentleman.
I was at loss for words when I got the news that this brother, our friend is no
more, but at the same time I know it in my heart that he is with our Almighty
Father, in the place of unending, unconditional peace and love. Aby achen will
always be remembered fondly with love by everyone in his batch. Thank you,
Lord, for enriching our lives with an individual who has touched all our hearts
alike. You will always be remembered by us.
Reshmi
R. Pillai
*Even after so many years, my
memories about College life remain alive on those verandahs. As I come walking
along it to class, I remember Aby still smiling at me. Such unconditional
friendship was filled in his voice as he called me ‘Cibis’. Today those
memories do hurt me with a feeling of loss. You’ll always be there in my heart,
Aby achen, so this is not your death but a journey and I’m gonna see you again.
Ciby
Thomas
*Aby achen was the epitome of care
and love. Though he was only as old as me, he was several times more loved and
several hundred times more loving than me. May that noble soul continue to
emanate the fragrance of love and service in the Kingdom of God.
Gopika
S.
*It’s still very difficult to
accept the truth that Aby achen is not with us anymore. That bright smile, kind
and loving words still keep his memories alive. I will never forget this
wonderful friend.
Priya
John
*I had a very crunch time during my
third year of college and used to be detached from everyone and used to miss
the class for fear of what others would think of me. It was at that time Aby
achen who saw me drifting apart took time to sit with me and talk, get to know
my real issues. He said that I need to come out of my problems and hugged me. I
still remember him calling me. He knew people from all over the college. He was
more like a caring father in our batch. An understanding person, a guy with a
bright smile and an elder brother who stands with you. I always pray that one
day I get to see him standing along with those angels in heaven as he was a
real angel for me.
Anish
Chacko
*Aby achen had a rare soul – full of
joy, compassion and care. I remember him as someone who went out of his way to
help, even when it wasn’t asked for or expected. I can’t even recollect a day
when he was angry or upset, or too busy to be a friend.
Christy
Rachel Abraham
*Aby was just like a brother who
cared, especially during my accident. He would run around and help us so much
in the hospital; my mother also can’t forget him because of this. Later on,
after he became a priest, and after he got sick, she saw him at Maramon
Convention and asked what happened to became so dark so much and how his
treatment was going. He jokingly replied that it was because his parsonage was
near the shore that he got too much tanned. That was Aby achen. A true gem.
Ginu
Elsa Varghese
*A person with an innocent smile and
the skill to treat everyone equally and be liked by everyone equally. That was
our Aby achen. Very active and enthusiastic. His smiling face is still in my
mind. Dear Aby achen, you haven’t gone anywhere, because you’re always in our
hearts.
Gisha
Rajan
*The Aby I knew was always pleasant
and always smiling. So whenever you talk to him you get this positive energy.
He always gave so much importance to friendships. Even after becoming a priest,
he would come running to his friends when he saw them. Once when I met him at a
funeral service, as I started saying a sentence ‘Eda Aby’ came to my mouth
naturally. Suddenly I looked at him to see if he changed expressions. Then I
corrected myself and called him ‘Acha’. But it happened again, and as I
apologised, he said quietly, ‘Don’t worry – this is our secret- just don’t tell
anybody else, okay?’ and laughed it off. So many such memories are there about
Aby achen– just like it all happened yesterday – still unblemished in my mind.
Shani
Mary Alex
*A true inspiration. Aby achen was a courageous and righteous
man with outrageous confidence in his plans, words and actions. I chose English
Literature as my field of study with no obvious reason. However, later on I
realised from him how much a person can be so determined to follow what Christ
has shown us to proclaim the love of God and to serve the poor and needy. He
was one among the many who chose the path to glorify Him from our Literature
department.
Whenever I called him, he would say
he was admitted to ‘Tharavadu’, followed by a laughter and never ever said he
was admitted to a hospital (CMC Vellore) for procedures. Hats-off to Achen for
helping everyone and sharing the love of God even in the midst of excruciating
pain. I recollect now that during his last days of his beautiful life, he set
aside a good amount of his hard-earned money for a poor youngster who was also
fighting for his life with CA at Vellore. Nonetheless, his short journey never
went futile. Moreover, the name Limisha Kochamma should not be neglected- she
was the perfect companion. But God had a different plan for them as he calls
the chosen ones unexpectedly to the departure lounge. Aby achen has joined the
great majority and I hope to see him on the other side. Goodbye, brother.
Mathew
Ninan
Mar Thoma College is known for producing hundreds of
priests and pastors of different churches. They all will be able to witness how
much the college or a professor moulded and influenced them to enter
ministry. It is a privilege to have two
Orthodox priests, two Mar Thoma priests and two Pentecost pastors out of the 15
boys of our class. Aby was so excited to know that I was getting married to a
priest. In turn, I was also glad when he completed his seminary studies and got
ordained in 2013; and got married after a year. I remember messaging him as
soon as I got to know he invited my husband first for his wedding, and I got
only a group invite, which was totally unpardonable! We thought some day we
would be able to work together somewhere being in the same field. Soon after,
we got to know that upsetting news- Aby achen was diagnosed with lymphoma. All
those years, as I was in Kolkata, I saw him just once – in that cassock – as
Aby achen -just once – for a few minutes – as he was rushing to another
programme. That was a time he was believed to be healed from that initial bout
of sickness, treatments and trips to Vellore; and I was comforted that he
looked fine and was doing well in his new posting in Kallar.
Our
batch has had a WhatsApp group of which Aby achen was an active member, but I
had no idea of it till 19th December, 2018 – the day he passed away.
By then he had gone too far. We all were
devastated. His last messages on that group before his last treatment time, was
that he was going to sleep – not knowing that time for his eternal sleep
was fast approaching. We all say together that our greatest blessing from Mar
Thoma College is the friendship and memories of this dear soul.
In all his sickness and pain, Achen’s
20,000-Watt smile never frowned. He strived to make everyone else happy. He
could not have done it without the constant companionship of his angelic wife
Limisha Kochamma – who never let go of him, who went with him everywhere, who stood
by his side till the very end. For all the good he had done on this planet,
surely Kochamma was God’s gift to him. Precious as a diamond. It’s been over
one year since he’s gone. Our hearts still ache and reach out to her - with
nothing but prayers of comfort and strength to move on. No words can provide
solace to his parents and brothers too who have lost a very strong link in
their family chain.
This memoir is nothing compared to
the benevolence and thoughtfulness of Aby achen. It could never do justice to
his righteousness and zeal for life. At the same time, I don’t think I could
share so much about any other classmate or friend I’ve had in all my life. He
was just special. Anyone who studied with him or worked with him, his family
members – anyone – would say exactly the same things about him without doubt.
Who could forget those magnanimous eyes, right?
Aby achen departed to join his Creator around
the same age our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified. He gave the light of abundant
life to everyone. He prayed for the sins of people. He consecrated sacraments
for those who needed the grace of God. His hands served the Saviour’s flesh and
blood to many. Died young – but not without having given his contributions to
this world and for His glory; not without making thousands of people smile. We,
who are left behind, do miss him, and know he is free of all pain and weakness
now, but can’t help but feel jealous of the angels who are surely laughing at
his jokes and enjoying his company around the heavenly throne. He must be
triumphantly saying up there: “O Death, where is thy victory?” because he still
lives in our hearts.
Remya Rachel Thomas
B.A English (2003-2006)
Mar Thoma College, Thiruvalla
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