CHURCH: FOR ME, FOR YOU & FOR US

I miss its resonance-the unified voices singing; I miss the smell of incense-the wisps of smoke filled with prayerful petitions and proving the omnipresent Lord; I miss the presence of people surrounding me- that strong circle of God’s people coming together with one mind of worship. And it’s never been like this ever before-closed churches and closed roads-unable to reach out and to reach in. The virtual replacements and attempts are of no comparison to the real deal. That feeling of Church.

CHURCH: FOR ME

Church has always been a staple necessity in my life. That’s how I was brought up. Initially, we used to worship in a makeshift church-with a priest coming only once in three months-the humble beginning of the Mar Thoma Church in Seattle. So, at that young age itself, I unconsciously knew that Church is much more than a building. Church is a home for all to come together, be a bigger family, regardless of talents, time or testimony. I was not aware of the traditions, legacy or the vastness of my church back then. Church for the child me was that feeling of belonging, oneness and love.

We shifted to India when I was eight years old. My parents chose to settle down in the place where dad worked-Kuttapuzha. So very naturally, we took membership in the Mar Thoma Church there. I had to all of a sudden adjust to a new place, new school, new language and a new church. (Well, the language was familiar, but I could hardly speak a word!) The church was huge, compared to my first one-and packed with people. Our Sunday School was in the afternoon those days, so that made trips to the church twice each Sunday. For a change, church was also at walkable distance, and not an hour drive away!

Very soon, Jerusalem Mar Thoma Church, Kuttapuzha, was not just a church for me, but an emotion, a holy matter in my brain or a part of my life. My parents being involved in many church activities, me and my brother tagged along everywhere- and I mean EVERYWHERE-centre meetings, prayer meetings, Sunday School teachers ’meetings, conventions, camps, conferences, what not! Even if no kids of our age were coming, we had to go. Many a times the situation was so that the only kids present would be us, and the Vicar’s kids. Seriously! (Now I’m sure some of you are thinking, no wonder one became a priest and the other a priest’s wife!)

We had a brilliant rule at home-my parents agreed on this one always, as they say they followed it in both their homes while they were kids-that we could not open school books from 4 pm on Saturday till the next day 4 pm- sharp 24 hours! Clever, right? So, no way to say excuses and bunk anything connected to church!! Therefore, we always got those attendance trophies. Never missed a day-unless we had maybe a fever and could not get up from bed-which hardly ever happened too. Even during exams, we had to go to church and Sunday School-no way out.

Just once, my parents gave in because of my grandmother’s recommendation and because I cried my eyes out that day. It was during my Class 10 Board Exams and the next day (Monday) was Mathematics and I feared I would fail for sure-and be the only person who would fail for ICSE in my school (I was very bad at Math, okay). Lo and behold, for the first time in forever, I was granted permission to stay back this once. But as I think of it now, I don’t think I scored 78 marks on that paper because I did not go to Sunday School those two hours in the afternoon-it just helped me to calm my fears, that’s all-I was already prepared to get that result. I just had to believe.

After this episode, I had never asked this request again- even when I reached Class 12, and further in College. Those days, we had YuvaVakup (youth class) in Sunday School, which was for ages 19-21 and I was mostly alone, thanks to my very ‘regular’ friend and because those who join for professional courses can’t come to Sunday School anymore (right?). I’m sure my friends and classmates had dubbed me with some kind of nickname-with all those ‘sick’ symptoms of no bunking church, no cable TV and no watching movies in theatres!

Youth league was also an integral part of my Sundays. I was not the type that went in front and spoke stuff, but I was there, whatsoever-in good times and bad. Sunday meetings, cottage prayers, competitions-you name it- I was there. So many good friendships were made during those years-most cherished ones-that flourished in the house of God.

I joined the church Choir only after I passed out of Sunday School. So, I spent around the same amount of time in Church for Choir practices on Saturday. Music was always on my mind-helping to select songs for Sunday, teaching new songs, making sure everyone comes, Carol service and practices before it, and the list goes on. All these organisations together moulded me in a way I could never have been without church. So many experiences which you learn from, grow upon and shape your personality.

It is with this great CHURCH feeling that I got married to a priest. People told me: ‘Oh Remya, this is exactly what suits you!’, ‘I knew you would marry an achen-always in the church!’ or ‘Now you can sing all you want and do more in church because you will live in one yourself!’ Blah! Little did they or we know that I was to go with this man I hardly knew to a village in Kolkata.

The city parish for Malayalis, Kolkata Mar Thoma Syrian Church, was quite far away, so going there was not always possible every Sunday. It was a bit of a compensation to be part of that church, but initially I did miss my old church a lot- so much that I would cry sometimes, thinking and praying when I would ever be part of a regular church again. But we did get so much of fellowship from the Achens and members there and so, all those years in Jagaddal again made me stronger to understand that church is more of a feeling of friendship, care and genuine love much more than standing under a roof with an altar in front. Thankfully, without much delay, we were able to begin the Sunday worship service in Jagaddal itself, so I got my air incensed right at my doorstep!

Now, we have two small churches to care for in Nedumangad, Thiruvananthapuram. Enough people who we can easily remember and pray for; very eager to know Him more and do what they can for the Lord. And Daphne gets to go to Sunday School too, just like we did. So, life’s circle keeps turning.

CHURCH: FOR YOU

It’s always been disturbing my mind how people can easily just not come to church on a Sunday, or how they don’t bring their kids to Sunday School-a question I have never got a solid answer to. What do you do better at home during that time? Why isn’t being at church and spending time with your fellow church members and friends a better option?

It’s all about our priorities. We hardly miss a day at school or work and never reach late. But it’s so easy to come to church while the first song is sung or maybe even during the Bible reading (if not later, just in time to ‘see’ the communion!) Of all the time I’ve spent at church, I don’t think I could have spent it better or rested more, gone hiking or watched some more movies. I think He would only double or triple the number of blessings He was planning for us and strengthen us more if we give our time to Him. In my belief, if God has given us enough health and the means, then it is our obligation to join His people, to glorify Him and give thanks with a pure heart. That’s exactly what He loves the most- to be praised.

Some people have the habit of going to church for the Christmas Carol and the Good Friday service- the two days in all 365 the vicars are the happiest as the Church members are in full attendance-and those ‘extras’ have the content that they have pleased God enough by being present two times a year (What an effort, mate!) Balderdash. I don’t believe that God blesses us according to the number of times we come to his temple, but He is surely marking our attendance in the Book of Life!

Many of us think of our personal issues with other church members or even the vicar and avoid coming to church, or maybe try to find ‘greenery’ somewhere else. Is there anywhere in this world that doesn’t have problems? We have arguments within the family, at work, with our friends- does that mean we just leave it and go? Or stop talking to them? So why take it as a big ego problem inside the church? The church should not be a platform to fight for power and positions, discuss on how to make more money or to compare and criticise each other. We should consider such experiences as stepping stones in life, which make us better human beings. There’s not a place in this world that can give you more happiness, content or even a better sermon unless you will it inside you first-and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. And one more thing-don’t say anything or do things to others what you wouldn't wish them to say or do to you. Problem solved.

We learn how to give from church- we give to all kinds of institutions and all kinds of collections. Sometimes people complain how there's not a Sunday without 'pirivu'. We can't blame them too because the church officials follow them asking, if they don't pay on time! But then, do we give wholeheartedly or just to complete the formalities? Do we genuinely show interest how the money is used or give our time tithe also for the same?

Nowadays, Churches have become our means to show pomp and grandeur, whether it be a baptism, wedding, first communion or even funerals. We are no more like the first church that struggled to cater to the need of the believers. Cinematic entries and dances, themes, destination weddings, drones flying all over, humongous stage settings - don’t know what even happens these days. We have so much time for pre-marital photo shoots, but not for pre-marital counselling? We know about everything else, except the actual service- which is the department of the priest right, why should we worry about that?

We just want a beautiful album made and some likes on Facebook, ain’t it? We don’t need huge parties to celebrate the day our child becomes an official member of the church or takes the bread and wine for the first time! You might say, we’d do what we want to with our money, what’s your problem! It doesn’t matter to me as long as you help in equal amounts those who don’t have the means to even buy a new dress for their similar occasions. We have kept such overbearing standards of expenses for our functions that it’s impossible to cut down, right? Christians should be models of humility and simplicity, just like Christ. Are we that anymore?

CHURCH: FOR US

The Church is still the same. It’s we, Christians who have changed so much. So much diversity and jealousy. So much fraudulence and expensive lifestyle. Jesus would hardly recognise us when He comes. The Church never moves. We have to go to the Church for it to be full of life-US. The church is like a hospital for us sinners. We have to take care of the sick and weary and make them know they are loved too. The church is the biggest Lost and Found department. The church should not be a place that bores people with long undivine incomprehensible speeches, but words of life and light that can guide His people to the Saviour.

Easter is the reason we worship on Sundays-and open our churches. Easter is the reason we love each other-and open our homes. Easter is the reason we still have hope-and open our hearts. In these bizarre times, lets vow to gather back, with one heart, one soul and one mind. Let us forget all our ego clashes, unnecessary enmity and unwanted issues and love our neighbours as we love ourselves. Let us keep aside all worldly pleasures and look to the empty tomb-because Christ has risen for us- WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?

These past few weeks I’ve understood once again that the Church is not just a building with wooden crosses and stained glasses. The members of our present churches call us and we call them, knowing both ways that we all are doing fine by His grace, amidst all the limitations and restrictions. Our relatives and friends all over the world are facing the same situation and our hearts and thoughts go out to everyone. Everyone surely is waiting for the day we can gather again; we can meet again. That’s what keeps the human race going. We don't need big-budget church buildings, we need big-hearted Christian brethren.

When this lockdown is over, when this virus has been smoked away, open the doors of your church with a new vision. Ring those bells and call everyone to come. Take off your shoes and enter His holy presence with a renewed mind. Sit at those pews with tears of thanksgiving. Close your eyes and take in His presence. Sing with joyful noise and let it resonant praise for the everlasting King. May the incense rise all over the world so people will realise the importance of prayer. Kneel at the altar with a reformed soul -promising to the Almighty God never to find lame excuses to go for a prayer meeting; never to lie when your friends call you for a youth meeting; never to be absent to Sunday School; never to bring the virus of vices inside the church; never to be extravagant in celebrating His sacraments; never to participate in the choir to show off yourself as the best singer; and never to miss the invitation of our Lord’s Supper again. He’s counting on us to make it right this time and thus to live in His time.